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| Origins Always Remain One's Future |
Friday October 01, 2021
"We all need to send"
him as much love as we can.
A breath of spent air
is ringing inside his ears.
What a musical surprise.
Saturday October 02, 2021
He knows it is best
if he does not use the word
'Angel' subtly,
but there is obviously
no problem mentioning it.
Sunday October 03, 2021
He's interpreting
the interpretation of
interpretations.
Does this mean he is living
in a hermitic ghetto?
Monday October 04, 2021
There is something great
about this interior
truth he wrote about
from his early Catholic faith
to his Catholic funeral.
Tuesday October 05, 2021
Near the end of life
he cryptically wrote that one’s
“origins always
remain one’s future” as a
way to honor the horror.
Wednesday October 06, 2021
He tries to honor
his mother on her birthday
by bringing tokens
of both love and gratitude
for all she has done for him.
Thursday October 07, 2021
Only one of three
took the time to wish her well.
Did the other two
simply forget about it?
Maybe they don’t care enough.
Friday October 08, 2021
Concerning fasting:
he is devoted to not
eating but only
drinking during the morning.
This is a healthy first stop.
Saturday October 09, 2021
Over the past week
he has let this slightly slip
from his fingertips.
It was like the days of old
when he wrote the 300.
Sunday October 10, 2021
The paper he wrote
for dear Professor Williams
marked the beginning
of his apophatic end:
Sein Und Zeit as negation.
Monday October 11, 2021
And then once again
he is reminded of the
grammar of assent.
He is grateful he remains
just outside of the order.
Tuesday October 12, 2021
He simply cannot
avoid the sense that the sense
of Being And Time
is fully and completely
phenomenological.
Wednesday October 13, 2021
It’s the beginning
of the end for him given
what he’s been given.
It’s a conscious decision.
He knows what he is doing.
Thursday October 14, 2021
It will never be
the same for him now that he
has been physically
altered from without, and then
from within without recourse.
Friday October 15, 2021
He's said it before
and he will say it again:
he is the Catholic
superior to Dewey.
It's all about the English.
Saturday October 16, 2021
And then there were four,
and from that time forth there are
no more and no less.
For him less is so much more,
in reading and in writing.
Sunday October 17, 2021
Once he enters through
the Oratorian doors
there is no return.
But that’s precisely the point:
in the world, but not of it.
Monday October 18, 2021
He’s finally ready
to study modernity
after all these years.
His time in graduate school
was a prolegomena.
Tuesday October 19, 2021
He’s more mystical
than he previously thought.
In the bad old days
he was unable to know
it, let alone affirm it.
Wednesday October 20, 2021
He is no scholar,
he is only a reader.
The point is to know
even as he’s fully known.
That is his raison d'être.
Thursday October 21, 2021
He knows where God wants
him to be, especially
given the image
of the Black Madonna that
was used for the rosary.
Friday October 22, 2021
The early morning
interruptions to sleeping
patterns are almost
too much for him to process.
Then again, it could be worse.
Saturday October 23, 2021
His old Ludwig van
can do no wrong when it comes
to starring within
Kubrick’s notorious film.
He overshadows it all.
Sunday October 24, 2021
To read is one thing,
to meditate another.
The reading comes first,
and then the meditation.
This is all that’s required.
Monday October 25, 2021
It is not anger
that is the matter with him,
but rather whether
it ever gets to his lips.
Silence keeps demons afraid.
Tuesday October 26, 2021
It was much better
for the brother not to sell
the book he stole from
Abbot Anastasius.
He returned then retained it.
Wednesday October 27, 2021
He recognizes
and yet resists the present
papal occupant?
Even Heidegger's Rahner
cannot fully convince him.
Thursday October 28, 2021
He is just ending
the penultimate edits
to his essay on
the developmental task
of balancing becoming.
Friday October 29, 2021
For the longest time
he wondered what the first H
would turn out to be.
‘To be’ eventually
turned out to be the last clue.
Saturday October 30, 2021
If he did it would
begin the cycle again.
And its end would be
worse than it was at the first.
There's only one worth trusting.
Sunday October 31, 2021
It has come to this:
he is an apopha(n)tic
sedevacantist.
There is no one in the seat
to recognize and resist.
